Moving Again...

No, no, not houses - rooms.

Boyz rooms to be exact.

Last weekend DH and I moved three rooms of furniture - blessedly almost all of it was already on one level.
When we moved into this house we designated the two smallish front bedrooms as the boys rooms. The center room, closest to mommy and daddy was the office/guest room. Well, about 3-4 months ago, neither boy would sleep through the night, so we did some experimenting and Ronnie ended up moving into Evan's room - which made Evan's room quite crowded... Around the holidays we decided that when Evan was done with his crib we would move both boys into the middle room and use the front rooms as guest and office. And about 4 weeks ago, Evan gave up his crib....kicking and screaming....so last weekend we moved and moved and moved.

So...now the front three bedrooms are:

1) Boy fantasy land - Cars, Knights and Dragons

2) The Celestial Suite

3)The Library aka office aka craft room

And Mommy and Daddy's room is still in great need of cleaning and sprucing....hmm I guess some day there will be time for that....maybe when we've caught up on all of the lost sleep...

BRRRRR Enough Already!!!

OK...we're definitely NOT done with CHAOS yet.
This week has been frustrating - at least work wise - so much so that I'm starting to review my old books on Feng Shui again. Time to get some energy moving in the career direction! Without getting too much into the details of the situation - I worked in the office 8:30 - 8 yesterday, then went home and worked from 10 - 3:30 am.
Outside of work - the home stuff is chugging along without a lot of focus. The boys are stir-crazy from being inside too much due to the cold weather (It just broke 30F for the first time all week).
The light is really noticably returning - and waking the boys earlier and earlier but I'm just plain TIRED. I'm not quite sure why it's becoming so dramatic again....but I need to get some energy quick!
One highlight this week is that I spotted a FOX trotting across our patio a couple of days ago! And we actually managed to get the boys to the window before he disappeared! It was very exciting for all of us!

Music for Tykes

The boys have been in daycare for a year now. It has been a learning experience for us all.

We chose a community run daycare center for several reasons - location, cost and food. Yes food - our daycare center serves breakfast, lunch and 2 snacks a day - and usually the breakfast and lunch are hot meals. What our center lacks is extras like the "special programs", music & sports offered at the pricey daycares (which don't serve meals or charge mucho extra for that convenience).

Since then, I've been a mom with a mission! I have music experience! I have experience teaching music to young folks, I enjoy being goofy...my only obstical is WORK. Last year when I first thought up the idea of going to the daycare and offering special music days I was still working for Atilla the Hun, but I was in the midst of a transfer. And yes now I work for better folk, but it is still Corporate America and asking for a few hours off once a month (which was my original thought) is like asking for the keys to the corporate bank accounts. (Not that they have any problems asking you to work extra hours on a weekly basis). So, I haven't quite gotten up the gumption to ask....yet.
What I have done is to do it on my own time. The first one was last Halloween. I used some vacation days to have a long weekend over Halloween - with the intent of doing some extra things for the holiday with the kids and doing some extra fall housecleaning. I also offered the daycare a special music program for the kids ....
I figured I'd bring my violin and do the usual nursery rhymes etc - then the director asked me what my "Program" was going to be - which forced me to really think about it. Thank goodness! I went in with a plan.
At the time, my boys had been listening to one of my chant cd's in the car and LOVED the song Grandmother Moon. They would call to Grandma Moon during full moon nights and sing along with the chant. So...since at Halloween the dark hours are growing - I decided to do Moon and Stars - Our friends as the theme.
I had Twinkle little Star, Grandmother Moon and a couple of other songs, a book "The Moon Comes Home", and in a couple of the rooms I used Elaine Silver's "Half Moon Rising" . Beyond that I did Happy Birthday where appropriate, and kids favorites. I played in the rooms for each age group - and had a different wonderful experience in each room. One thing that did stay the same - from 12 mos up - each kid had the opportunity to help me play the fiddle.
My next opportunity came on MLK day. Miraculously my company gives this as a holiday, but daycare is open. This time I went without a theme - and it was OK. Having lived through the experience once - I knew what to expect from the age groups. I must say, that the pre-school teacher is one of my best friends when I do this. She would really LOVE it if I could do this REGULARLY and build on what I'm doing. She has repeatedly offered to do prep lessons or followup lessons with the kids.
I guess I just have to get up the gumption to ask for a few hours once a month from my boss...it really wouldn't cost him anything. I already work overtime....

Happy Imbolc! Spring is almost Here!

IMBOLC

The feeling in this still dark, unstable, muddy time
that the light at the end of the tunnel is my own soul
staring back at me on the inside
and I'm blind as a mole pushing through
some primal unseen path
with my stubby little snout and inexplicable will
If winter is a wide ocean of night
January is the hollow point, the trough
that holds visions too deep to fish up into morning
it is a cave too far down for light or even hunger
life hibernating in me suspended, waiting
and the mind floating free of the body now
like something promising but unborn
I want to lean over my own self to see if I'm breathing
I want to regress into a world of fur and blood
I am as slow as a stone's pulse
Into this no place, no thing
Imbolc comes at the end of forever
and the begining of all time
Suddenly there is one fiercely yellow crocus open
dreams pierce dense and soggy layers of sleep
right up into the thin clear air of day
just like the red torpedo shoots of peonies
pierce the ground by my back door
carrying all the courage that weeks later they will need
to unfurl those painfully delicate new leaves
I am asking for that courage, Mother
I'm ready as I'm gonna be
nothing more to wait for
just hold my hand while my eyes stumble into light

Miriam Dyak 1994

Catching Up - OR - HOLIDAY FRENZY!!!

Whew! It's been a CRAZY RIDE!

The holiday season just blew by us this year - but not without much activity and sharing joy with our kids and family and friends.

Early in December our town hosted a "Pictures with Santa" event. This was the first year that "SANTA" had meaning for both boys...so, we took the boys and watched Santa arrive via Fire engine. Then we waited in line for our turn to talk to Santa and have our picture taken. When it came to our turn Ronnie didn't even hesitate this year - and because Evan does EVERYTHING Ronnie does - he paused only a couple of seconds before joining his brother. This was the first time we actually heard that Ronnie had a definite 'Wish List' and there was only 1 item on it - a tunnel...from that point we had a mission - to find out what he meant by tunnel.
The answer came during the next week - after grammy paged through the TRU catalog with him - it was a TRAIN TUNNEL!

Over the course of the next couple of weeks we had several cookie baking sessions - some which included small boys, and some which did not. Ronnie is a MOST ENTHUSIASTIC participant in kitchen activities, and was VERY proud of his cookie efforts! As this was Mommy's first year in a LONG time to actually bake, it was time very well spent! And MUCH appreciated by Daddy!

We celebrated the Winter Solstice as a family, by noting how far to the south the sun rose (it was to the right of our LARGE pine tree) - and trying to remember where it rose in the summer(much farther to the left over our greenhouse we think). As observed from our kitchen's bay window, this is a VERY wide arc of rising points. In the evening we celebrated by extinguishing all of the lights in the house to symbolize the dark time - then we began to bring back the light by lighting a small candle for each one of us -we then went through the house turning on all of the lights to help us remember that the darkness won't last forever and that the sun's course has changed to bring back the light again.
We bought our tree - in our family's tradition - close to the last moment - Dec 23 - and brought it inside. We decorated it on Christmas Eve when we had another small housefull of guests - Grammy, Grampy and Auntie Jill. The boys were exstatic - and VERY excited! Ronnie set out the cookies for Santa - and both wanted Grammy to put them to bed, but the excitement was so high that it took Mommy and Daddy to do the job that night! Then we had to stay up getting the train table setup and the presents under the tree!

Christmas day was AMAZING this year! The boys loved opening their gifts - were SO happy with everything they got - which was A LOT! And SO happy to play with it all. Nap-time was non-existant - there was FAR too much excitement for that!

We had our dinner at my brother's new house this year. It was delicious and the kids had a blast....all 4 of them running like crazy people around the downstairs hallways!

The boys' daycare closes for the 'week between', so I was home with the boys all week. We got in some play time with friends we don't see very often which was very nice. It was my intent to have Evan pottie trained during this week, but he had other ideas....
And then all too soon, it was New Year's Eve. Again, this year, we played dominoes with a couple of friends - a quiet and relaxing ringing in of the new year.

Hope every one had a wonderful holiday - however you celebrated - filled with family fun and magical moments!

To Grey or not to Grey - THAT is the question

In the week since I wrote my last entry I've mentioned the grey cover up and wanting my greys back to several people.
The first was my friend Terry....she was all for it.
Terry expressed that she looks for them and is excited by them - they are her badges of honor.
Apparently she, and I, are in the minority here.
Every other woman I have mentioned this to has had the following to say:

"OH NO! COVER THEM UP!"

"I'm NOT taking them siting down - I'm going kicking and screaming!"

and combinations of the above.

I don't have a problem with hair coloring per sey, heck - I've done quite a few auburn color washes - just to have that red that I've always wanted...it's just that I don't have a problem with accepting grey hair as a mark of your years, and wearing it proudly either.

Isn't it better to have lived long enough and interesting enough lives that we got the greys?
Anyhow, let me know how YOU feel about this.

The view from 40

Ok...I'll admit it. I've been having a mid-life crisis - for about a month.

I never thought my age would bother me. I have given out big fanfares for more people than I can count because "age is a badge of honor" "we have made it to this place in our lives".

I believed it then; I believe it now.

BUT all of the sudden - it was NOVEMBER 2006.

It snuck up on me like a laughing pixie. I noticed every grey hair (which I had thusfar refused to cover with"permanent" dye); felt every ache; felt tired when my little ones wanted to play....and felt AGED.
The weekend before my birthday was probably the height of the crisis....during the kids' nap time, instead of doing all of the things I regularly do, I sneeked up the back stairs to the master bath and pulled out the box of "emergency" hair dye" - the permanent kind.

I took a deep breath cut off the seals and colored my hair...no one even noticed. Not at home, not at work.
Then came the day....my husband had the kids sing me happy birthday...gave me a gift...had my parents watch the kids while we went to New Hope and Lambertville for the day....when we got home we had ice-cream cake with my parents and the kids. It was a very nice day, but TOTALLY ANTI-CLIMATIC.

In the week that followed I got over the crisis...realized that I didn't really feel any older than I had 20 years ago and I went back to living my normal hectic life; trying to comfort a sick husband... trying to work-from home with a sick child... making plans for the coming winter holidays... making plans to get together with friends...
But if still felt as though another shoe was about to drop --
On Thursday night my "big" present came - hubby had gotten me a new dell laptop with wifi and the upgraded battery pack...this baby can go anywhere - no wires - YAY!! Seems he thought my current home computer was a bit out-dated (I bought it in 1997).
So it was over, right?
Well, Saturday, as I was walking into a Chili contest Clark had entered - SURPRISE! Family and friends old and new had gathered.

Dad and"uncle" Jerry were playing music, many had brought food and drink, and Donna had made THE MOST INCREDIBLE/ BEAUTIFUL/ MAGICAL CAKE! It was wonderful!!!
BUT, With the way the past few years have had me flitting in and out of people's lives, I felt unworthy of all of the love, affection, and attention. And especially unworthy of the hugs the little folk - some who barely knew me - dispensed freely. But the other shoe had indeed dropped.

On Sunday evening - after an afternoon of "Simply Cook It - the home version" with a couple of friends - I was finally back to where I started, but my friend Terry expressed it so much better in an email on Monday, so I'll share her words:
As far as I'm concerned, we've worked hard to get where we are. We've more than put in the time and the effort. We've earned every year and we should all be proud.

Ok - where's the remover? I want my greys back!