Hope this weekend found you and yours happily dressing in otherworldly garb...or at least role playing as a super-being/hero.
We had a whirlwind of activity over the 3 day holiday. My eldest son is in 1st grade and had his Halloween parade on Friday. He had been vascilating between going as a pirate this year or wearing the Buzz Lightyear costume one last time. The younger boy's pre-school doesn't do Halloween...so they learned some autumn flavored songs and had a little concert complete with sign language interpretation of the songs.
Following the pre-school concert he and I went to pick up our CSG farm share - another appropriate activity for the final harvest holiday.
On Saturday there was Soccer a friend's birthday party and TRICK or TREATing! Ronnie stayed with the Buzz costume and Evan became a SPIKEY DRAGON RAWR! He had been Woody for his dance/gymnastics class earlier in the week, but one of the favorite aunties had brought both boys Spikey hats with tails from her summer trip - and suggested that they were DRAGON hats. Evan decided that was way cool and needed a costume to go with it...so Auntie D made him a pair of fleece pants with a spikey dragon tail built in! We addd a black sweatshirt and away we went. If he decides he wants to re-play this costume next year we may add a chest piece and shoe covers, but it was a last-minute operation this year - and it was WET anyway.
On Sunday - more soccer and the BIG EVENT for me. Our Samhain Supper.
This ritual has been a tradition of mine for 12-13 years. I had participated in it with dear friends who eventually moved far away. I have continued it with my friends and family. The group has swelled and diminished over the years, as I have come to the conclusion that the smaller and more intimate the group the better for this ritual. Our current group is 7 adults and my 2 kids.
The ritual is basic; performed around the dinner table with a candle-lighting portion where we remember our beloved dead, then we use the symbols of pomogranate and apple to talk of about their path and ours. It is short and child-friendly. This year, my eldest lit the candle to remember our Uncle Ray, who died a couple of months ago. Ronnie and Evan had come with us to visit him in the hospital a couple times before he passed, so Ronnie had clear memories of him. Ronnie also helped perform the pomogranat and apple ceremony. Evan, on the other hand still didn't quite understand...
Directly following the ritual we had a pot-luck-supper that we shared with the ancestors, and ate by the light of the candles we had lit.
Blessed Samhain all. May the memories of your ancestors warm your hearts this season.
Blessed Be.
Showing posts with label Uncle Ray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Uncle Ray. Show all posts
Monday, November 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saying Good-bye to Uncle Ray
It's been a while since my last post...sorry about that. I'll try to catch up over the next few days.
Late-summer was a whirlwind of activity of all kinds, but one thing that made us stop and think was Uncle Ray Yaros, my husband's uncle.
When my husband and I met, both his parents had been gone for quite some time. So, when he introduced me to Uncle Ray and Aunt Eve, it had the same kind of weight as "meeting the parents". At the time, Uncle Ray was in his 70's but looked and acted far younger. He still had a 14' fishing boat that he took out on the bay to fish...by himself, he still had a decent sized garden and cooked regularly.
In 2003 Uncle Ray and Aunt Fran (his twin sister) turned 80. That was also the year Ronnie was born, Clark and I got married, and Clark's cousin (Uncle Ray's granddaughter) was married.
Then, between Christmas and New Year, Aunt Fran died, and soon after, Uncle Ray started his down-turn.
Over the course of the last 5 years he had several small strokes, falls, and generally a down-turn in his health and according to him, his quality of life.
We hadn't seen Uncle Ray and Aunt Eve regularly for a while, they had made it to Clark's 50th birthday party, but not Clark's niece Missy's wedding.
We got a call Memorial Weekend, that Uncle Ray had had another fall, and was in a rehab center recouperating and could we come visit. Of course, we did. We brought the feisty boys with their leapsters and a ton of photos and visited.
Uncle Ray was sad, depressed really. There was nothing wrong with his memory, he told me clearly how much turning 80 had been a terrible thing. Dispite having been able to witness granddaughters' graduations from college, weddings and two great-granddaughters' births. He was tired of living with the pain, and with the physical limitations.
It was not an overly optimistic visit, but neither was it overly pessimistic. We figured Uncle Ray would be home in time for his July birthday and we'd go have a nice dinner with him.
It didn't work out that way.
He did go home, but only briefly.
Clark called the house to wish him a happy birthday a day or so after the date. Aunt Eve told him that Uncle Ray was back in the hospital, so we decided to go for another visit.
What Aunt Eve left out, was that Uncle Ray was on a feeding tube and was mostly not with us anymore.
Clark and I don't want to overly sheild our boys from death. It is a part of life and it is good for them to understand it. But, I think we probably would have left them with a sitter for this visit, had we known. We did give our love to Uncle Ray; held his hand, spoke the words, smoothed his hair...
We did get a couple of moments of eyes opening and clearing as if in understanding.
We went home understanding that Aunt Eve was already alone. After 65 years. And just wanted the pain to be done for her lover, her friend, her life companion.
We lit 2 candles in the window every night for two weeks with clarysage, lavendar and rosemary. One for each of them....asking Bridgid to heal, to love, to embrace.
Uncle Ray passed from this realm on August 6. We said our goodbyes on August 9 & 10.
Ray Yaros - a good man, who lived a good life. 2 great-granddaughters, 2 granddaughters, 2 sons, 1 wife for 65 years, and an assortment of nieces and nephews. The last of his siblings to go (I think there were 5 or 6).
You will be missed, you will be remembered, by Clark and I of course, but even more importantly, by Ronnie and Evan.
Late-summer was a whirlwind of activity of all kinds, but one thing that made us stop and think was Uncle Ray Yaros, my husband's uncle.
When my husband and I met, both his parents had been gone for quite some time. So, when he introduced me to Uncle Ray and Aunt Eve, it had the same kind of weight as "meeting the parents". At the time, Uncle Ray was in his 70's but looked and acted far younger. He still had a 14' fishing boat that he took out on the bay to fish...by himself, he still had a decent sized garden and cooked regularly.
In 2003 Uncle Ray and Aunt Fran (his twin sister) turned 80. That was also the year Ronnie was born, Clark and I got married, and Clark's cousin (Uncle Ray's granddaughter) was married.
Then, between Christmas and New Year, Aunt Fran died, and soon after, Uncle Ray started his down-turn.
Over the course of the last 5 years he had several small strokes, falls, and generally a down-turn in his health and according to him, his quality of life.
We hadn't seen Uncle Ray and Aunt Eve regularly for a while, they had made it to Clark's 50th birthday party, but not Clark's niece Missy's wedding.
We got a call Memorial Weekend, that Uncle Ray had had another fall, and was in a rehab center recouperating and could we come visit. Of course, we did. We brought the feisty boys with their leapsters and a ton of photos and visited.
Uncle Ray was sad, depressed really. There was nothing wrong with his memory, he told me clearly how much turning 80 had been a terrible thing. Dispite having been able to witness granddaughters' graduations from college, weddings and two great-granddaughters' births. He was tired of living with the pain, and with the physical limitations.
It was not an overly optimistic visit, but neither was it overly pessimistic. We figured Uncle Ray would be home in time for his July birthday and we'd go have a nice dinner with him.
It didn't work out that way.
He did go home, but only briefly.
Clark called the house to wish him a happy birthday a day or so after the date. Aunt Eve told him that Uncle Ray was back in the hospital, so we decided to go for another visit.
What Aunt Eve left out, was that Uncle Ray was on a feeding tube and was mostly not with us anymore.
Clark and I don't want to overly sheild our boys from death. It is a part of life and it is good for them to understand it. But, I think we probably would have left them with a sitter for this visit, had we known. We did give our love to Uncle Ray; held his hand, spoke the words, smoothed his hair...
We did get a couple of moments of eyes opening and clearing as if in understanding.
We went home understanding that Aunt Eve was already alone. After 65 years. And just wanted the pain to be done for her lover, her friend, her life companion.
We lit 2 candles in the window every night for two weeks with clarysage, lavendar and rosemary. One for each of them....asking Bridgid to heal, to love, to embrace.
Uncle Ray passed from this realm on August 6. We said our goodbyes on August 9 & 10.
Ray Yaros - a good man, who lived a good life. 2 great-granddaughters, 2 granddaughters, 2 sons, 1 wife for 65 years, and an assortment of nieces and nephews. The last of his siblings to go (I think there were 5 or 6).
You will be missed, you will be remembered, by Clark and I of course, but even more importantly, by Ronnie and Evan.
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