To Grey or not to Grey - THAT is the question

In the week since I wrote my last entry I've mentioned the grey cover up and wanting my greys back to several people.
The first was my friend Terry....she was all for it.
Terry expressed that she looks for them and is excited by them - they are her badges of honor.
Apparently she, and I, are in the minority here.
Every other woman I have mentioned this to has had the following to say:

"OH NO! COVER THEM UP!"

"I'm NOT taking them siting down - I'm going kicking and screaming!"

and combinations of the above.

I don't have a problem with hair coloring per sey, heck - I've done quite a few auburn color washes - just to have that red that I've always wanted...it's just that I don't have a problem with accepting grey hair as a mark of your years, and wearing it proudly either.

Isn't it better to have lived long enough and interesting enough lives that we got the greys?
Anyhow, let me know how YOU feel about this.

The view from 40

Ok...I'll admit it. I've been having a mid-life crisis - for about a month.

I never thought my age would bother me. I have given out big fanfares for more people than I can count because "age is a badge of honor" "we have made it to this place in our lives".

I believed it then; I believe it now.

BUT all of the sudden - it was NOVEMBER 2006.

It snuck up on me like a laughing pixie. I noticed every grey hair (which I had thusfar refused to cover with"permanent" dye); felt every ache; felt tired when my little ones wanted to play....and felt AGED.
The weekend before my birthday was probably the height of the crisis....during the kids' nap time, instead of doing all of the things I regularly do, I sneeked up the back stairs to the master bath and pulled out the box of "emergency" hair dye" - the permanent kind.

I took a deep breath cut off the seals and colored my hair...no one even noticed. Not at home, not at work.
Then came the day....my husband had the kids sing me happy birthday...gave me a gift...had my parents watch the kids while we went to New Hope and Lambertville for the day....when we got home we had ice-cream cake with my parents and the kids. It was a very nice day, but TOTALLY ANTI-CLIMATIC.

In the week that followed I got over the crisis...realized that I didn't really feel any older than I had 20 years ago and I went back to living my normal hectic life; trying to comfort a sick husband... trying to work-from home with a sick child... making plans for the coming winter holidays... making plans to get together with friends...
But if still felt as though another shoe was about to drop --
On Thursday night my "big" present came - hubby had gotten me a new dell laptop with wifi and the upgraded battery pack...this baby can go anywhere - no wires - YAY!! Seems he thought my current home computer was a bit out-dated (I bought it in 1997).
So it was over, right?
Well, Saturday, as I was walking into a Chili contest Clark had entered - SURPRISE! Family and friends old and new had gathered.

Dad and"uncle" Jerry were playing music, many had brought food and drink, and Donna had made THE MOST INCREDIBLE/ BEAUTIFUL/ MAGICAL CAKE! It was wonderful!!!
BUT, With the way the past few years have had me flitting in and out of people's lives, I felt unworthy of all of the love, affection, and attention. And especially unworthy of the hugs the little folk - some who barely knew me - dispensed freely. But the other shoe had indeed dropped.

On Sunday evening - after an afternoon of "Simply Cook It - the home version" with a couple of friends - I was finally back to where I started, but my friend Terry expressed it so much better in an email on Monday, so I'll share her words:
As far as I'm concerned, we've worked hard to get where we are. We've more than put in the time and the effort. We've earned every year and we should all be proud.

Ok - where's the remover? I want my greys back!

Giving Thanks

As the kids are taking their nap I'm taking time to sit back and reflect - ....I think I spent too many years on my own with the ability to have things "just so" to have things stay cleaned up for more than a couple of hours...etc - in those days I was sad - because I didn't have anyone to share life with. And now I get aggrivated every day with all of the little things that pile up - that need to get done over and over and over because of little messes.

The fact is - I wouldn't change any of it. I love my kids, I love my husband, I love the process of keeping the house, and the garden...I even really like my job - ok mostly - The problem is that there is just not enough time to do it all well...to take my time with it and enjoy it in the moment as much as I'd like.

This year has been a year of settling in - to the house, to the marriage and being together all of the time, to the kids - now that Evan is more of a participant....

My goal for next year is to stop worrying about what can't get done - and to enjoy what can be done more. To be in love with my life as much as I love my life - so that I show it more to all of the people I love.

This year, I am thankful for:

My children they are bright active and fun...healthy sassy and LOUD! They make life exciting and wonderful!

MY husband -who is the best daddy I know, loves our family, works hard making our house a home we can be proud of, allows me time for myself and accepts me for who I am.

My parents - who helped us make it through the year. From staying with us when the 4 of us had a stomach virus to keeping the kids for several weekends and Shakespeare evenings so Clark and I could do things as a couple.

My spirit sisters - for being there and listening and understanding and sharing life's ups and downs.

Grammy, Jill, Leana, Donna, Kim and Lizyy for emergency childcare!!!

Leana & Clyde for MANY evenings of dominoes, tea and chocolates!

My job - that I got a new one with a decent boss and moved to the Morristown office.

Blaize - for all of the years of companionship and love and loyalty and mouse hunting.

Halloween Fun!

Halloween was a BIG event at our house this year.
I took Monday and Tuesday off so that I could do more with the boys, but the festivities began on Friday night!
Friday night was the day care center's Halloween Party - and they went all-out!!! The entry had a smoke machine and the lights in the whole building were dim to start...each of the offices/rooms was decorated and the staff were dressed up and handing out treats. Then there were refreshments in the cafeteria. For this event the boys dressed in last-year's costumes - and were "SUPER BOYS"!
Saturday we had a gathering of family and friends in the late -afternoon/ evening to celebrate the late harvest and to honor those who have gone before us. It was a rainy day, so the pumpkin soup I made was well received! We also feasted on pieroghi casserole with mushroom sauce, spinach casserole, chicken and beef satay, rack of lamb, sesame noodles, stuffed butternut squash, fresh bread and apple desserts. It was YUMMY!
On Sunday we held a tie-dying session - the first since just after our wedding....although it was cold and windy MANY items were dyed. Ronnie got to dye his beach towel for next summer and it came out nicely! Next time we'll get the boys more involved in this - when we remember to do it in warmer weather!!!!
Monday I cleaned house - it needed it after the weekend!!! And picked up the boys early from daycare to carve our jack-o-lanterns. Ronnie was definitely into it more than Evan. He directed the carving - The big pumpkin was to have triangle eyes and nose and some teeth! The smaller one needed circle eyes and nose and a "scarey mouth".
Tuesday I spent the morning at the day care center - violin in hand - doing some musical activities with each of the rooms. My theme for the day was "Moons and Stars" who keep us company through the dark time of the year. I played "Half-Moon Rising" (from one of Elaine Silver's cds), sang "Grandmother Moon", "Twinkle Twinkle" and I told them the story "The Moon Comes Home". The older kids loved the singing and dancing...the younger kids were just amazed at the violin. I let ALL of the kids(12 mos to 5yrs) take a turn helping me play! In the afternoon Grammy came to visit and we were all joined by Aunt Julie and Uncle Jim and cousins Caity Fiona and Seamus to go trick-or-treating. This year Ronnie clearly told me weeks in advance that he was going to be "BOB the BUILDER" and Evan said "Fireman"!!! So, that's what we were! Of course Mommy dressed up like...."a Witch"!
It was a wonderful holiday!!

Pumpkin Picking 2006

It was a COLD October day!! We got up early and went to the farm.
The boys had a great time climbing over the pile of straw, riding the straw animals and visiting the petting zoo. It was harder to pick out a "shared" pumpkin! Especially since this year's crop was not too wonderful!
Mommy and daddy picked out some apples and local honey and made the farm happy with our purchases.
Later that day was jelly making with the ladies!!!
This year we made: lavender, mint, rosemary garlic and hot pepper jellies.

BOY ARE THEY GOOD!!!!

Let the Potty Training BEGIN!

It is with MUCH angst and gnashing of teeth that big brother Ronnie has become potty trained. And we still deal with accidents and last-minute catches - which will of course go on for some time yet.
SOooo with Evan wanting to do everything big brother does - we have begun the ordeal with him as well....
Yesterday morning after a night of coughing in my ear and kicking me in the ribs, Evan woke me with the words every mommy longs to hear "Mommy, Pee-pee, Pottie" So, we jumped out of the warm covers and into the cold bathroom where said child was disrobed and undiapered and put on the pottie....to wait, and wait....and wait...."Mommy, DONE, wipe" since the aforementioned diaper was BONE DRY I insisted...."No, Evan, not until you pee-pee"Finally the reward came - a nice stream of early morning pee!!!
YAY !!!!!!
Of course today - by the time we got to the pottie - the diaper was sagging....Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Evan is "2"!!!!!!

Well - Evan is now 2!
It is hard to believe he hasn't always been a part of our lives. Unfortunately he got an extra present in the form of an ear infection...Hopefully we won't start the trend of back-to-back infections again!!!
We had a fairly low-key celebration on Saturday with family and a day-care friend...

Our First Visit to the Beach!

On Sept 17 we finally made it to the Jersey Shore with the boys!
Along with Auntie Jill, Auntie Julie and cousins Caity, Nona, and Shay-shay, we visited Jenkinson's Aquarium in the morning and had a great time there!
http://www.jenkinsons.com/aquarium/index.cfm
Then on to lunch and some time for the kids playing in the worlds BIGGEST SANDBOX!!!that was soooo much fun that the boys almost didn't want to go to the water....but once they did, the waves and "bubbles" were such a hit that even the promise of ice cream couldn't tear them away!
Ronnie keeps asking mommy to tell the story about his day at the beach!